| My Life Story: |
The first thing I remember is the big hand coming into the great sawdust pit that seperated me from my brothers. Which was quite fortunate as they were starting to get on my nerves. Give it a week and we'd be fighting.
My new daddy took me home and fed me and stuff. I ran in my wheel and ate food it was brilliant. Then he started fetching me out and putting me in this wierd cage. Lots of tubes and stuff. It was kind of fun, but I got tired of running around, it seemed kinda pointless, I mean why?
Eventually I used to twig where he hid the food and I could go to it when I was hungry. I could see him watching me, I think he's a little perverted. I remember my mom telling me to never go down dark tubes, especially if they smelt funny.
Anyway after abit when I could easily find my way round the tube cage he put me in this wierd box. There was lots of flashing lights and the air smelt really funny. The noise was horrible, I tried to cover my ears but eventually I passed out with the pain.
When I woke up I was back in the tube cage again, but it was different, none of the tubes where in the same place. I looked at my moron of a dad.
"What I have you done?" I thought
"I am testing you." He thought back. I was kinda of stunned. I never realised he could think, I just thought he was a big stupid lump.
After a quick question and answer session I managed to get him to guide me to the food. It's taken time, but I found out he did something to me, says he made me intellegent and I can fly and shit. I've always been intellegent, I've always been strong ("How else did you think I got out the cage, you moron? Humans are so stooopid.") As to the flying, who knows I never could before, I mean like I'd try flying round a two foot cage.
Anyway I used to try and use my powers for good, saving rodentkind and stuff. But are they ever grateful? No. I save their scrawny ass from a cat or an owl and shit and do they thank me. No, they just twitch their little beady nose and run off.
So now I hang out on BGR with my daddy's computer and pickup lady hamsters when he's not looking.
Rock on Fuckers (and leave that hamster alone SongEmotions. How would you like being shoved up some elephant's ass) |
