BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !


that one's really good!

Post edited by: ]DaRkLoRd[, at: 2006/03/07 13:19

It was the end of the school year, and a kindergarten
teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils. The florist's
son handed her a gift. She shook it, held it overhead,
and said, "I bet I know what it is. Some flowers."

"That's right." the boy said. "But how did you know?"

"Oh, just a wild guess," she said.

The next pupil was the candy shop owner's daughter. The
teacher held her gift overhead, shook it, and said, "I bet
I can guess what it is. A box of candy."

"That's right. But how did you know?" asked the girl.

"Oh, just a wild guess," said the teacher.

The next gift was from the son of the liquor store owner.
The teacher held the package overhead, but it was leaking.
She touched a drop of the leakage with her finger and
touched it to her tongue.

"Is it wine?" she asked.

"No," the boy replied, with some excitement.

The teacher repeated the process, taking a larger drop
of the leakage to her tongue.

"Is it champagne?" she asked.

"No," the boy replied, with more excitement.

The teacher took one more taste before declaring,
"I give up, what is it?"

With great glee, the boy replied, "It's a puppy!"

A man came home from an exhausting day at work, plopped
down on the couch in front of the television, and told his
wife, "Get me a beer before it starts!"

The wife sighed and got him a beer.

Ten minutes later, he said, "Get me another
beer before it starts!"

She looked cross, but fetched another beer and slammed it
down next to him. He finished that beer and a few minutes
later said, "Quick, get me another beer, it's going to
start any minute!"

The wife was furious. "Is that all you're going to do
tonight! Drink beer and sit in front of that TV! You're
nothing but a lazy, drunken, fat slob and furthermore..."

The man sighed and said, "It's started."

LMAO!!

That first joke is not right.

Post edited by: BigEvilRyan, at: 2006/03/09 09:43

A businessman boarded a plane to find, sitting next to him,
an elegant woman wearing the largest, most stunning diamond
ring he had ever seen. He asked her about it.

"This is the Klopman diamond," she said. "It is beautiful,
but there is a terrible curse that goes with it."

"What's the curse?" the man asked.

"Mr. Klopman."

Two girlfriends were speeding down the highway at well
over 90 mph. "Hey," asked the brunette at the wheel,
"Any cops following us?"

The blonde turned around and had a long look at the road
behind them.

"Yeah, looks like it"

"Are his flashers on?"

The blonde turned around again......
"Yup....nope....yup....nope....yup....nope....yup. ...."

Aging Mildred was a 93 year old woman who was
particularly despondent over the recent death of her
husband, Earl. She decided that she would just kill
herself and join him in death.

Thinking that it would be best to get it over with quickly,
she took out Earl's old Army pistol and made the decision
to shoot herself in the heart, since it was so badly
broken in the first place.

Not wanting to miss the vital organ and become a vegetable
and burden someone, she called her doctor's office to
inquire as to just exactly where the heart would be on
a woman.

The doctor said, "Your heart would be just below your
left breast."

Later that night, Mildred was admitted to the hospital
with a gunshot wound to her knee.