Uh just ignore those ill work on it later.

A city cop was on his horse waiting to cross the street when a little girl stopped beside him on her shiny new bike. Nice bike," the cop said, "Did Santa bring it to you?" "Yep," the little girl said, "He sure did!"

The cop looked the bike over and handed the girl a $20 ticket for a safety violation saying, "Next year tell Santa to put a reflector
light on the back of it."

The young girl looked up at the cop and said, "Nice horse you got there sir, did Santa bring it to you?" "Yes, he sure did," chuckled the cop.

The little girl looked up at the cop and said, "Next year tell Santa the dick goes underneath the horse, not on top.

HAHA!!

MERRY CHRISTMAS CREEPS!!!

Two women friends had gone for a girl's night out. Both were very faithful and loving wives, however they had gotten over-enthusiastic on Bacardi Breezers.

Incredibly drunk and walking home, they needed to pee. So they decided to stop in a nearby cemetery. Having nothing to wipe with, one of them thought she would take off her panties and use them.

Her friend however was wearing a rather expensive pair of panties and did not want to ruin them, but was lucky enough to squat down next to a grave that had a wreath with a ribbon on it, so she proceeded to wipe with that. After the girls did their business they proceded on home.

The next day one of the women's husbands was concerned that his normally sweet and innocent wife was still in bed hung over, so he phoned the other husband and said "These damn girl's nights out have got to stop. I'm starting to suspect the worst. My wife came home with no panties!"

"That's nothing" said the other husband, "Mine came back with a card stuck between the crack of her butt that said "From all of us at the Fire Station. We'll never forget you." LMAO!!

One day Mom was cleaning Junior's room and in the closet she found a bondage S&M magazine. This was highly upsetting for her. She hid the magazine until his Father got home and showed it to him. He looked at it and handed it back to her with out a word. So she asked him, "What should we do about this?" Dad looked at her and said, "Well I don't think you should spank him."

One day , two guys were walking down the street. They notice a dog licking his nuts. One guy says to the other , "Gee , I wish I could do that!" The other guy says , "Well , you could try it , but he might bite you." DOH!

A priest
A rapest
And A child molester
Walk into A bar
And there all the same guy

3 People who found ways to have fun with Police on a traffic stop.

GOOD


A policeman had a perfect spot to watch for speeders, but
wasn't getting many. Then he discovered the problem - a 12-year-old boy
was standing up the road with a hand painted sign, which read "RADAR
TRAP AHEAD".
The officer then found a young accomplice down the road with a sign
reading "TIPS" and a bucket full of money. (And we used to just sell
lemonade!)

BETTER

A motorist was mailed a picture of his car speeding through an automated
radar post. A $40 speeding ticket was included.
Being cute, he sent the police department a picture of $40.
The police responded with another mailed photo of handcuffs.

BEST

A young woman was pulled over for speeding. As State Trooper
walked to her car window, flipping open his ticket book, she
said, "I bet you are going to sell me a ticket to the State Troopers
Ball."He replied, "Wisconsin State Troopers don't have balls."
There was a moment of silence while she smiled, and he realized what he'd
just said. He then closed his book, got back in his patrol car and left.
She was laughing too hard to start her car.

WHAT DOES A KISS TASTE LIKE?

One day a teacher had a taste test with her students. She picked a little boy to do the first test.

She blindfolded him, put a Hershey kiss in his mouth and asked, "Do you know what it is?"

"No, I don't," said the little boy.

"Okay, I'll give you a clue. It's the thing your daddy wants from your mom before he goes to work."

Suddenly, a little girl at the back of the room yelled,

"Spit it out! It's a piece of Ass!"

o.k don't know if anyone has said this yet but theres a blond,a brunette, and a redhead (blonds please don't be angry at me)are being held at a prison due for there execution by gunshot. right before the executioner pulls the trigger the brunette quickly screams TORNADO! and while everyone is confused looking for the supposed "tornado" she scrambles over the wall. next up the redhead, right before her executioner blows her brains out she screams! EARTH-QUAKE. as everyone runs for shelter she scrambles over the wall. Now up its Ms. blond girl she walks up to the executioner and waits for her demise. then right before that deadly,deadly piece of lead pierces her skull she scream at the top of her lungs FIRE! OH MY GOD,FIRE!

BANG*

A lady walks into a drug store and tells the pharmacist she needs some cyanide.

The pharmacist said, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?"

The lady then explained she needed it to poison her husband. The pharmacist's eyes got big and he said, "Lord have mercy", I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband! That's against the law! I'll lose my license, and they'll throw both of us in jail and all kinds of bad things will happen! Absolutely not, you can NOT have any cyanide!"

Then the lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.

The pharmacist looked at the picture and
replied, "Well, hell, you didn't tell me you had a pre_script_ion."