New York (think commercial) branded industrial metal reared its ugly head at Jaxx the other night and I was there to see what it was all about. Honestly, this was an article I debated even writing at all... But I figured if nothing else, this could serve as a public service announcement.
There isn't really any reason to have too much substance in this article, because there really aren't many angles about this band to report on. I'll give you the short version right up front and then you can decide if you want to know more. Ready? Hanzel und Gretyl were pretty much a one dimensional band, that relied heavily on their gimmick, and spent zero percent of the time showing you any actual musical skill. If you would like to know more by all means, keep reading... Otherwise have a great day!
Alright here's the dealio. This band relied heavily on samples and pre-recorded music. They had a dude and a chick playing guitar and also had a live drummer. They didn't feel a bass player was of any use, probably because I guess playing a digital file costs less money than an actual person. The digital "soundtrack" to their performance was more complicated than any of the stuff they were playing live. As a matter of fact, 100% of you who know how to play guitar from goofing around in the basement, could replace either guitar "player" in this band. Somehow the 300 people in attendance had been duped into thinking that this was a talented band. Don't get me wrong though... If I had been drinking a lot, taken some X, and was in the mood for a metal-rave, I might have been able to look past it's plastic, manufactured taste. As far as the band members go, there was Hanzel who was a very lanky dude that wore lots of padded Sgt. Peppers clothing and a German helmet with a big silly eagle perched on top of it. Oh, I almost forgot to mention his goggles. I think he was a welder in his previous occupation... Gretyl was the nicely figured lady on the other side of the stage who was caked in make-up, torn up clothes, and piercing. I think her angle was to be tough, but I dunno man... I wasn't scared. Anyway, up close if you looked deep past the makeup, costumes, and props they sure looked a lot older than they projected. Like maybe approaching their 40's... Now I have nothing against age, but it just seemed to add to the whole fake-ness of it all. Beyond all of the corniness, they at least had a killer light show and a dude who knew how to run them. The quality of the audio production was very good as well, but how much of that can be attributed to the fact that a huge chunk of the sound was pre-recorded, right? I suppose if you are a person who likes to dance you might dig this band, but if you are a tad more serious about your music, don't waste your time. In the end, calling this band "industrial metal" is a sucker-punch in the face to bands like Ministry, and NIN. 4 out of 10.
In my next report I hope to give you the scoop on the Possessed show on 11/24 ! Stay tuned.
Go to the BGR gallery (CLICK HERE) and check out my pics from last night's the show.
BE SURE to check out our friends at JAXX NIGHTCLUB! www.jaxxroxx.com
If you would like to attend a Jaxx show please let me know. I might be able to drag you along with me.
Comments Questions or Concerns? Hit me up! berube@braingell.com
Comment #1 by stonedrockgod on November 25, 2007 at 2:52pm
ouch... prerecorded? two thumbs down, they're not even really musicians.. like Dragonfarce, to beat a dead horse.. I kinda liked a few of their songs too, but now when I listen it'll depreciate... boo, my wife even likes them too..
Comment #2 by berube on November 25, 2007 at 3:05pm
while they were playing their instruments, there was a SHITLOAD of "bed", so to speak...
Comment #3 by stonedrockgod on November 25, 2007 at 3:36pm
yea, and milli vanilli could dance.. huhaha
Comment #4 by berube on November 25, 2007 at 4:05pm
unlike milli vanilli, H&G did provide unrecorded vox... just keeping the record clear... i guess i should have mentioned that above, tho is makes little difference...
Comment #5 by stonedrockgod on November 25, 2007 at 9:57pm
I know dude, I'm just overstating the fact that authenticity is 100%, and real work breeds real skill... and to be able to grow and go anywhere as a musician, you need actual challanges.. what they did is like a cheat code.. it works.. but seriously, what did you do special? where's the talent..
Comment #6 by Damage Case on November 26, 2007 at 4:42pm
Hanzel? Hanzel?!? Hanzel!
Comment #7 by WastedZombie on November 29, 2007 at 01:59am
Hmmm...
Comment #8 by Damage Case on November 29, 2007 at 09:37am
Obscure reference to a Bugs Bunny cartoon...more obscure than I thought, evidently
Comment #9 by dEaDrInGer666 on March 23, 2008 at 9:32pm
what a bullshit review by a jealous hater! Hanzel Und Gretyl at Jaxx was one of the best shows i've ever been to at that place! my gf made me go! first time i ever saw them. like 100 people ended up on the stage for the encore! totally AWESOME! met 'em afterwards too and they were totally cool! don't listen to this uptight loser! hug rulez!!!!!!!!
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