I Am Not The Lead Singer of Lordi Says A Mall Santa

OMAHA–Mr. Lordi, the lead singer of no-hit wonder and Ozzfest ruiner Lordi, was apparently spotted at an Omaha mall dressed as Santa Claus. The man who was going by the name Bob Thornton claims to have never heard of the Finnish horror rockers.
“I’m just your run-of-the-mill drunken hobo with a checkered past looking to rub on some kids and make naughty jokes to all the single mothers,” said Thornton.
The man’s story came into question when a 17-year old high school junior, working as an elf, rummaged through Thornton’s bag looking for a bottle of Old Grand-Dad and found a copy of ‘How to Be Gwar Without a Hint of Talent.’

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