Band Injured As Dude Goes On Stabbing Spree In Ohio Bar

Why does this shit always happen in Ohio? Remember that it was back in 2004 when Dime was gunned down by some crazy fuck in Ohio — and now, some deranged asshole’s gone on a stabbing spree in an Ohio bar, and ended up shanking two dudes in a false band called Noise Auction.

Two people were killed early Monday (March 7) as a result of that random attack at the VIP Lounge in Hilliard, Ohio; the band had played the club were Dimebag was murdered just days before. Not that that’s more than just a coincidence, I’m just saying. According to local news reports, 27-year-old Donald J. Schlarman of Worthington, walked out of the bar’s bathroom and “cut a bloody trail through the bar.”

According to the Hilliard Police Department, Schlarman stabbed Jeff E. Fijolek, 44, of Grove City, and his friend — Tyler Bronson, 34, of Hilliard, and both men died from their wounds. Police say Schlarman injured two other people, including the lead singer of Noise Auction, who was hurt trying to tackle the attacker. And I have to say, after listening to this band’s music…that could be the reason dude went batshit. These dudes create some awful fucking music they claim is “metal.” Nope — not on my watch, pal.

 This band is “metal” like Lady GaGa’s “punk.”

Schlarman was taken down by a group of patrons, some of them hammering the crazed man with pool cues. 

”It was, honestly, a bloody, bloody mess,” a woman at the scene told ABC6/FOX28 News. She says she saw Schlarman stab Fijolek and Bronson and cut at least two other guys who tried to intervene. 

”It’s weird to be hanging out with someone and be alive. Then, they’re dead. They’re just dead. Seriously, it was horrible.”

When all was said and done, the woman says Schlarman’s face was mangled and bandaged. 

”They were trying to get control of him. They beat him until he passed out.”

And that was my favorite part of the entire article. They beat him until he passed out. Brilliant. My thoughts go out to the family’s of the fallen, and I’d hate to be in that sort of situation. The guy snapped, and I’m not sure if that’s a result of living in gnargoyle country, but dude — if you live in Ohio, you need to move. Or just not go to shows.

And I still say the dude couldn’t take another fucking minute of Noise Auction’s music. That may sound insensitive, but that’s what we do here. This band needs to break up. Truly. Or change their name to Gay Disturbed.

 And if you are offended by this post, you shouldn’t be here. Still, if you feel the need to bash my shameless attempt to reel in Google News traffic, by all means, get to it in the “Comments” section below.

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