The Great Southern Brain Fart: One Hour of Metal

AC/DC – Shoot To Thrill
The opening lick of this song always makes me smile and nod my head because I just know that the rock is about to be brought. I’m a HUGE Bon Scott fan (more so than a Brian Johnson fan). Even though “Back In Black” gets a lot of love and hype, it totally deserves it. It’s a fucking bad ass record and this song just rocks my face every time I hear it.

Dio – Rainbow In The Dark
Can this get any better? The cheesy keyboards, the crunchy fat guitar and the almight Dio just melting face. LOOK OUT! Not much can be said about this song that hasn’t been said a zillion times. It’s a timeless classic and was writen for us, the fans. We’re all rainbows in the dark!

KISS – Tears are Falling
Wow. They should have called this one Tears are FAILING. This song just flat out sucks. I wish the entire Asylum album along with “Music From The Elder” could be wiped out of existence. Instead, we have to constantly be reminded of it’s life with crapolla like this. Ugggh. This song can’t be over soon enough.

Def Leppard – Pour Some Sugar On Me
It’s hard to believe that these clowns are the same guys that recorded “Me & My Wine”, “High & Dry” and “Let It Go”. They are even considered one of the NWOBHM (New Wave of British Heavy Metal) bands. Uggggh. Diet Metal. This shit makes me nausious.


Scorpions – Rhythm of Love
This is some sexy metal! The Scorpions are one of those bands that really love to hate to love. I have yet to find a Scorpions album I can listen to straight through but I’ll be damned if I don’t love their singles and other select songs. This song is one of those that I just love. It’s got some stellar production and it just sounds fat as hell. It’s some sexy metal though. Makes me wanna get my groove on with my woman and all.

Aldo Nova – Fantasy
I thought I called the cable company and told them to quit playing this crap. NEXT!

Judas Priest – You’ve Got Another Thing Coming’
Everytime I hear this song I wanna jump up and play air guitar doing that “rock back and forth” thingy that they do in the video. I’m 11 years old every time I hear this song. It’s timeless yet it totally brings me back to being a kid in my room with my electric guitar trying to learn the rhythm parts of this song and being so psyched when I finally learned it. A great classic piece of facemelt!

Sammy Hagar – Heavy Metal
Sammy Hagar has had a few redeeming moments for all the crap that he’s put out and this is one of them. As cheesy as it is, this song just totally kicks ass and I love it everytime I hear it. It’s got some face ripping guitar work and he’s just singing his ass off as always. I forget how much I love this song until I hear it.

Aerosmith – Love In An Elevator
As a teenager, I was a HUGE Aerosmith fan and I loved everything about them. I remember thinking their “Pump” album was an absolutely masterpiece but now, as a 37 year old man, I find that not only did it NOT age well but that it sounds absolutely ridiculous. “Love In An Elevator”? Really? This is the same band that did “Draw The Line”, “Rats In The Cellar”, put out the “ROCKS” album? I mean, don’t get me wrong. This song doesn’t suck but it just sounds silly and absurd. I can’t believe these guys could play this shit with a straight face. I can barely listen to it with a straight face.

Accept – Balls To The Wall
They’re gonna break the chains HEY!!!! This song melts my face everytime I hear it. It’s so ridiculously awesome. There’s something hilarious about a 5 foot tall German guy in camo talking about kicking your fucking ass! This song just rules on so many levels. It’s the ONLY Accept song that EVERYBODY knows. I think this song has totally earned it’s place as a timeless metal classic and it never gets old. It’s like a fine wine.

Motley Crue – Kickstart My Heart’
Ok, so Motley Crue is guilty of a lot of FAIL. I used to really not like this song but I’m now starting to see that it’s actually a pretty cool song. The band actually plays pretty well on this song and Mick Mars is a fucking monster on this song. Even though this song is cool, I still say that Dr. Feelgood is one of their best songs ever. This song is really pretty damn cool.

Iron Maiden – Hallowed By They Name
You just gotta love internet radio! Especially metal stations. They’re so random and it’s never a dull moment. This is easily in my top 10 Iron Maiden songs of all time. I love everything about this song. Songs like this prove to the masses why Bruce Dickinson is one of the greatest singers of all time and why Maiden is one of the all time greats. I will NEVER tire of hearing this song live. They’ve played it on nearly every tour since it’s inception and I always look forward to going apeshit with my friends when this one kicks in. Just flat out awesome!

Tesla – Hang Tough
Tesla always rose above the pack along with bands like Cinderella in my opinion. They were lumped in with these “hair metal” bands but Tesla was so much more. They were a band of substance who wrote killer songs. They were so melodic and heavy and this song is one of my all time favorites from Tesla. This song melts my face. The double guitar work on this song kills me everytime. These guys really knew they had something that their peers didn’t and they did it right. It’s working mans hard rock. It’s gritty, organic and real. I can never get too much Tesla.

by The Great Southern Brain Fart

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