The Haunted Frontman Makes Us Feel Like a Bunch of Lazy Procrastinators
SWEDEN–Just two weeks after the release of his band’s latest album, The Haunted frontman Peter Dolving has announced his first novel is now available. While calling a 145-page book a novel is pushing the limits of the definition of a novel, its release makes just about everyone, except for maybe Devin Townsend, look very unproductive. Townsend, who may be the hardest working man in metal, plans to write and release a whole new album just to show Dolving up.
But Dolving is already looking past Townsend and has his eyes set on Howard Stern and his ‘King of All Media’ title. To assist in Dolving’s quest, guitarist Patrik Jensen plans to call Piers Morgan’s talk show and ask if he can smell Peter Dolving’s balls.