Lamb of God’s RANDY BLYTHE Pissed Off with All the Blabbering
There’s no other way to say this. I could dance around it and make it sound all news reporter-like but here it is: Randy Blythe, of Lamb of God, is ticked off about personal comments posted on the Internet and specifically those made in the comments section of Blabbermouth.net. Randy has “vocalized” his thoughts in his blog and the Blabbermouth spies found it: http://randonesia.tumblr.com/post/14162894097/blabbering-mouths-the-rotting-corpse-of-human-decency. Hat’s off to Blabbermouth for having the gnads for posting this shit when it was aimed primarily at them. So, light up the doob and get the munchies handy. This is going to take awhile. Oh yeah, if you want to read the whole damn thing, might better go ahead and light up the bowl and head here.
“In his book [‘You Are Not A Gadget’], [Jaron] Lanier [an American computer scientist, best known for popularizing the term virtual reality] is critical of the hive mind aspect of Web 2.0, its dehumanizing effect, and its part in the alarmingly rapid destruction of actual interpersonal communication via the widespread and commonplace use of anonymous and fragmentary web ‘comments.’ This is the stuff that really interests me on a personal level, because I have seen it reflected within what was once considered a safe haven from the mob mentality, the moronic collective ‘brain’ that has always tried its best to trample, degrade, and mercilessly humiliate anyone brave enough think for themselves, step out of line, and actually publicly express that thought in a creative manner. I speak of my beloved underground music scene, a place which I am starting to believe no longer exists as a true, relevant subculture at all (but that’s a different argument for another time). And there is no better place that illustrates the slow destruction of that once vital, artistically nurturing community of free-thinkers and outcasts than the comments section of the site known as Blabbermouth.
“For those of you who don’t know, Blabbermouth.net is a metal/hard rock-oriented ‘news’ site. I believe that the term ‘news’ should be used very, very loosely in conjunction with some of the content on this site. They regularly present things as ‘news’ that I think are hardly noteworthy, including the disjointed Twitter ramblings of yours truly. But the validity of their content as newsworthy items is not what bothers me. It’s some of the smarmy little shits in their comments section who lurk around like one of those heavy-duty farts that just won’t dissipate.
“These cowardly little turds hiding behind the veil of digital anonymity are indicative to me of a process of intellectual and ethical devolution occurring not only inside the underground music scene, but within the very human race itself. Mommy’s little monsters have a soap box where they can throw their tiny little digital tantrums and there is no one to reign in their childishly offensive outbursts. The sheer amount of brazen comments that would result in immediate hospitalization (or at least a good smack or two) if made on the street is staggering on Blabbermouth and other Internet message boards and comment sections. I believe this is a result of the combination of two things: #1. an excessively indulgent, self-entitled, overly-permissive bullshit style of ‘parenting,’ and #2. the anonymous zero-accountability aspect of the Internet itself.
“Allow me to explain.
“About a week ago, LAMB OF GOD digitally released ‘Ghost Walking’, a teaser track from our forthcoming album, ‘Resolution’ (It’s amazing! It’s the best thing since sliced bread! It’s WAAAY better than our 1997 demo tape! You should BUY IT! Pre-order NOW! This item is only available from this Ran-do-vision offer, but you MUST call NOW! Plug plug plug…). I got a ton of positive feedback in my Twitter feed, which really came as no surprise since I believe most of the folks who follow me there are actually fans of my band and enjoy our music. The track itself is a fairly typical LAMB OF GOD song with a couple of minor tweaks, and I feel it was a good middle-of-the-road choice for the first tune the fans would hear. All was well in rock-star land. My galactic-sized ego had been stroked, and the iTunes sales from the first eight hours alone funded the purchase of my third gold-plated helicopter.
“Being a man who values balance in all things, I decided to take myself down a notch or two myself by visiting the comments section of Blabbermouth. I knew full well what to expect there, and even posted on Twitter that I was off to troll land for a little light weight amusement before I actually checked the site.
“Blabbermouth never, ever, EVER fails to astound me when it comes to the sheer volume of mindless hatred and relentless bickering over utterly pointless topics in its comments section. Merely one of several reasons why I rarely visit the site. But any new LAMB OF GOD release warrants a quick stroll through the murky and childishly scrawled waters of the comments section by ol’ D. Randall. I can’t help it. For me it’s like fiddling with a loose tooth or picking a scab. I know I shouldn’t do it, but it only stings a little, and let’s face it: it’s irresistible.
“After a few satisfying doses of ‘these guys suck, etc. etc.,’ a few valid criticisms, and a few positive comments, I then posted on ye olden Twitter that the key board commandos had yet again done their job to make me feel some modicum of job security. If at least a few of the try-hard metal experts really hated the tune and bashed away with their usual insults, then I could go to bed extra-pleased knowing that all was well, and this album cycle was going to be a success. Some people I know in the industry chimed in about the severe lack of respect for others (that extends at times to family members and even dead people), and I agreed, suggesting knuckle sandwiches might be an appropriate serving option for some of these cretins. Makes sense to me. I said goodnight, went to play Skyrim (fuck yeeeeeaaaaah nerdery), and promptly forgot the whole thing.
“But the next day I got a ton of comments in my Twitter feed along the lines of, ‘Don’t worry about the haters, man! I love the new song! Fuck all those shit-talkers!’ While these comments were certainly nice, and I appreciate the spirit in which they were made (thanks y’all!), they were entirely unnecessary. I’ve been doing this for so long that the opinions of an entire network of globally connected self-appointed critics honestly don’t bother me. If what some miserable fuck-witted troglodyte sitting behind a keyboard in his mother’s basement (gotta use the time-honored parent’s basement sterotype) thought about my music really got the old guts churning and cost me a second of sleep, I would have quit a long time ago (or, as some have so charmingly suggested, ‘blown my brains out’). Instead, IT’S FUCKING FUNNY TO ME. Why? Because A) Obviously these slugs’ opinions have done absolutely NOTHING to halt my band from making music in anyway whatsoever, and B) I’m a rapidly aging grouchy old fart who is way past feeling the need for acceptance by almost anyone except my loved ones, and even then only on my ‘sentimental’ days.
“Oh yeah, and there IS that whole doing exactly what I want to do and getting paid pretty well for it thing.
“So anyway, in typical blabbering Blabbermouth fashion, Blabbermouth apparently almost immediately ran a ‘news’ item about me on how much I blabbered that I didn’t give a fuck what people blabbered about me in Blabbermouth ‘news’ items or some such shit (confused yet?). I believe they reposted all my Twitter comments from the night before. Remember what I said earlier about the term ‘news’ being thrown around kinda loosely at that site. I haven’t read said ‘news’ item, nor have I read the attendant comments. I don’t have to. I’m pretty sure I know what’s there. The trolls at Blabbermouth aren’t going to joining their local chapter of MENSA anytime soon. It’s not rocket science, and there’s not a lot of deep thinking occurring over there. From my limited experience, I have found them to be a rather dull, uncreative, and excruciatingly predictable lot of malcontents. I would bet every red American cent in my bank account that many of the comments go close to something along THESE lines:
“1. ‘HA! It’s pathetic how that asshole rambles on about how much he doesn’t care about what people say about him on the internet. Obviously he DOES care, otherwise he wouldn’t make such a big deal out of it. You know he’s sitting there all pissed off to bloody fuck and trying to pretend he’s not…ON THE FUCKIN’ INTERNET! Can you fucking believe it? Psychology 101, man. So fucking obvious. Plus LOG sucks anyway.’
“2. ‘What a fucking jerk-off. Who does he think he is anyway? Fucking diva-ass wanna-be rock star monkey got his feelings hurt. It’s about time. He’s lucky somebody cares enough to bash his shitty band’s music. LAMB OF GOD are not even real metal, never have been, its for kids at the mall. Plus he’s the worst singer alive. Fuck him.’
“3. ‘He needs to grow up and realize that the Internet and places like this are the way things are now. The Internet is a crucial tool in the development and growth of the music scene. This is a great place for us to COMMUNICATE, maaaan. We have every right to say whatever we want- ever heard of freedom of speech, asshole? Just because we’re anonymous doesn’t make our criticism any less valid. Plus LOG hasn’t put out a good record since ‘As The Palaces Burn’ — everything since then has been a piece of shit.’
4. ‘This dude fucking sucks. He should just kill himself. His band tries to sound just like PANTERA / SLAYER / TESTAMENT / whoever-the-fuck-else-is-an-influence-on-every-fucking-metal-band-today, but they fail miserably. So bad generic wanna be metal. Hail TRUE METAL \m/ Plus no one cares about gay-ass metalcore shit anyway. Fuck lamb of douchebags!’
5. ‘How DARE he talk shit on the people who made his band! LOG wouldn’t exist at all if it wasn’t for the fans! And there are fans here. Fans who have every right to say whatever they want about the band, no matter how bad it is, since the band owes them basically everything they have. Plus that dude is rich anyway. Fuck him.’
6. ‘Fuckin’ MAIDEN, dude……. Fuckin’ MAIDEN.’
“My ears hurt just imagining all the screeching little indignant shits.
“Guys — please, PLEASE…spare me the results of your sophomoric ‘thinking’ — oh, wait, I spared myself. I didn’t read your infantile knee-jerk comments. But lemme guess — I was pretty close to on point, right? Well, maybe not the MAIDEN comment, but it was too funny to resist. C’mon… You KNOW it’s funny.”