Another Rambling From A Crazy Metalhead: It’s Been Three Months, What Did You Miss?

Apparently I took the entire summer off from my usual ramblings aside from calling out all of the wannabes that call themselves metal fans.  I would go into great detail about what you missed, but you’ve missed nothing outside of the whole Randy Blythe getting arrested thing.  Thankfully football has returned for those of us who can find other ways to entertain ourselves outside of chatting with old men on Chatroulette.  So let’s see what you have missed:

Charles Manson pens a postcard to Marilyn Manson:

A copy of this has been posted online somewhere, but I have this strange feeling that it is bullshit.  I can’t see Charles giving Mr. Warner credit for anything which is why I think it is bullshit.  I am going to take a stab at how the actual dialogue read.

Dear Mr. Manson,

Dear Marilyn, I am very disappointed in you lately.  Between the weight gain and the obvious loss of talent, I feel that you now bring great shame to the Manson name.  Remember in 2001 when you had the red hair and the sweet prosthetic tits? (Your music wasn’t half bad then either, kid)  I’ve been in here for a long, long time, so back then at least I could envision you as my romantic partner.  Now, you remind of me a post menopausal bitch who has lost the will to live and I want no part in this, meaning you should drop the Manson moniker.  If you want to pick up a new name call yourself Marilyn Dahmer, because much like old Jeffrey, your target audience is strictly confused young boys now.

Trent Reznor’s How To Destroy Angels signs to Columbia Records

Does anybody else not notice the irony here?  This is the guy from Nine Inch Nails that left Universal Records in 2007 and is quoted as saying:

“Anyone who’s an executive at a record label does not understand what the internet is, how it works, how people use it, how fans and consumers interact – no idea. I’m surprised they know how to use email. They have built a business around selling plastic discs, and nobody wants plastic discs any more. They’re in such a state of denial it’s impossible for them to understand what’s happening. One of the biggest wake-up calls of my career was when I saw a record contract. I said, ‘Wait – you sell it for $18.98 and I make 80 cents? And I have to pay you back the money you lent me to make it and then you own it? Who the fuck made that rule? Oh! The record labels made it because artists are dumb and they’ll sign anything’ – like I did. When we found out we’d been released (from their recording contract) it was like, ‘Thank God!’. But 20 minutes later it was, ‘Uh-oh, now what are we going to do?’ It was incredibly liberating, and it was terrifying.”

This is kind of like telling everybody how painful and terrible anal sex is and then finding the largest dildo he can and promptly lodging it in his ass without lube with a smile on his face.  At the very least sign to a smaller or an indie label and tell us how you are going to help them get established or some bullshit excuse.  Instead you are signing to a branch of Sony Music which is the largest label out there.  No, it’s not hypocritical at all sir.

Evanescence is going on hiatus

Nothing to see here folks, enjoy your peace and quiet for as long as this lasts.

The Death To All Tour fucks everybody involved

Hopefully some of you were fortunate enough to see the Death To All show in one of five cities this summer.  If not, you missed the original members of Death plus special guests at every city getting together for what was supposed to be a good cause.  Proceeds were supposed to go to a charity called Sweet Relief that helps musicians with illnesses.  Proceeds apparently went everywhere except to the musicians, Sweet Relief or the family of late Death frontman Chuck Schuldiner.  Not to mention the fans who purchased VIP packages to the Atlanta and Dallas shows that were canceled are still sitting around waiting for a refund.  It has become a soap opera between Sick Drummer Magazine and everybody else involved and it really just gives metal an even worse name.  Generally most of us question how legitimate any fundraisers or charities really are, but this one sounded awesome and dropping forty some dollars on a show that good was a no brainer when it was for a good cause.  Surely Chuck is spinning in his grave over the whole situation.  It’s beyond shitty for everybody involved and makes it even harder to take “charity” seriously.

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