Hulg ElfR.I.Pper

From File 23:

“Hulg is dead. Or, rather, undead. He’s our resident zombie oRc; his obituary reads: “Hulg ElfR.I.P.per was fatally electrocuted last night, when in a fit of rage resulting from an argument with Filthgrinder over the band’s sound and direction, oh, okay, tuning—they were trying to settle whether they should play in standard B or C Flat. Hulg took his battleaxe to Filthgrinder’s amplifier. Manager Gruesom Grimp had this to say about the incident, ‘F*ck, do you have any idea how impossible it is to find oRcs that play guitar?’” Grimp has since put out a call to find high-level Necromancers to animate Hulg’s corpse before concerts, as the zombie oRc has a tendency to drop dead before gigs. The Grimp has had it with cut-rate hacks, because, after one such wanker collected his cash and vanished, Hulg’s arm fell off during the recording the “WarChiefs” EP, causing Filth to pull double guitar duty. Hulg doesn’t enjoy much since he died except the occasional dish of brains, served warm.”

-YF


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